clock and coffee


Morning routines are a sh*t show around my house!!  Especially if we need to be up and gone at a certain time, and chances are you can say the same thing about mornings at your place. I’ve been reading all these morning routines for busy moms on Pinterest lately because I’m trying to manage my time better and I just have to chuckle a little at them. Step 1. ” Wake up before your kids and get some self care time in. Drink a hot coffee….” YA RIGHT!….

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My kid wakes up between 430-6am every day!!! Toddler G has slept in maybe 5 times in his whole life. That’s 2 years straight basically of watching Peg plus Cat at 5am…. This, my friend, is NOT my idea of fun and no coffee in the world is strong enough for me to want to willingly wake up prior to him.

So mama, if you’re like me and you or your kids’ DON’T fit the mold then…

My Candid Moms 5 Step Morning Routine is Just for You!!

Step 1:  Wake up to the sound of your kid screaming ” DONE DONE DONE ” at you while simultaneously kicking you in the kidneys. ( rethink why you’re still co-sleeping ) Roll out of the bed, mosey into the kitchen and start a pot of coffee or pop a kcup in the Keurig. ( that is the one we’ve used for 3 years now and love, nothing fancy but it gets the job done! )  and ok that was more than 1 step.. but when you have kids 1 step is really like 83872 steps.

After I do that I usually get Toddler G situated with a ” tea ” ( hot water and honey ) and a snack ( bowl of fruit or dry cereal ) and GASP! turn on TreeHouse. I then make my coffee and set it on the counter. By this time Toddler G has already asked for another 5 snacks and a 2 sippy cups of water. Seriously where do they put all the snacks? Oh ya, goldfish they smush them into every piece of furniture you own. Don’t forget goldfish in your shoes too. On to the next step.

Step 2: Shower ( hahhahah tricked you.. what’s a shower? ) jokes aside – maybe wash your face. If the kids are having a semi decent morning, splurge and wash your hair in the tub. Ooohh talk about pampering….

With Toddler G, we co-bathed up until he was a little over a year old, so I got fresh and clean on the daily. With two kids though this doesn’t happen. So I’ve settled for at least a clean face in the AM and I try to squeeze in my showers during nap times or after bedtime.

Don’t forget to move your coffee into the bathroom.

Step 3: Get dressed….aka change from your Pj’s into some yoga pants or tights. Who seriously wears jeans around their house while chasing after toddlers? ( if this is you mama.. please tell me which pair of jeans are comfortable enough for you to wear for 12 plus hours while getting up and down off the floor 986 times a day ) If changing into yoga pants / tights isn’t your thing, at least change into some fresh gitch and Pjs.

This step is key. You may not want to get dressed everyday, but in order to feel like you’ve got your shit together you really do need to swap out for some type of fresh clothing. I realize this creates more laundry to do, but at least you’ll feel like a million bucks doing your wash in a fresh pair of cheetah print pjs.

Set coffee on the dresser while you switch up your outfit.

Step 4: Make-up… Really? No Thanks! Makeup just creates one more step in your nighttime routine and you don’t need that kind of hassle in your life. 

Maybe it’s because I don’t wear makeup that this just seems silly to me, but makeup isn’t cheap and proper application takes time. ( I can’t even throw my hair into a messy bun without my kids freaking out at me because I’m in the bathroom without them. ) But If it makes you feel incredible then go ahead and throw it on mama, but you really don’t need to go out of your way to get all dolled up for the kiddos, they like your unkept eyebrows and blemishes just the way they are. However, don’t skip on the lotion, your face will thank you. So as Buffalo Bill says  ” It rubs the lotion on the skin or else it gets the hose again “.

So now grab your coffee, oh sh*t !! Where did you leave it?….

The bedroom right, you finally take your first sip and…..ugh COLD! like usual.

You now have 2 options, re-heat it or throw in some ice cubes and you’re ready to take on the day!


Can you relate to my 5 Step Morning Routine???

I’d love to hear what steps you take each morning to prepare for the day. Let me know how a real mama gets shit done! > Email me at or Leave a comment.




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