I feel very fortunate to have two incredible HOT MESS MOM BFFs in my life.
I can honestly say I have no idea where I would be without them. ( ok yes I do, I would likely be locked in the bathroom crying, with a chocolate bar shoved in my mouth. ) Luckily for me, they are incredible human beings. They have helped to mold me into the mother I am, and I know they will continue to help me grow into the mother I was meant to be.
What is a hot mess mom you ask .. and why do you need one?
Well, you likely know at least one or maybe you’re the HOT MESS MOM in your tribe.
A HOT MESS MOM is that woman you see who may look like she’s barely holding it all together but behind that ” look ” is one tough mama and some pretty happy littles!
Her kids are genuinely happy even though her house may be in ruins. She’s got her unwashed hair thrown into a bun and she’s on her 3rd cup of coffee and it’s only 10am. She may be running late to the play date but she’s the one you’d wait an extra hour for because you love the energy she puts off and after you spend time with her you feel recharged like you could take on the world. ( or at least whatever the afternoon brings. )
Every mom out there NEEDS a HOT MESS MOM as a BFF and here are my…
TOP 4 REASONS WHY!
1. She doesn’t give too much thought into what YOU, your HOUSE or your KIDS look like.
When she shows up at your house she doesn’t even bat an eye at the overflowing garbage, the cheerios stuck to the couch or the dog hair floating around like tumbleweeds.
She wouldn’t dare to mention anything about the fact that you’re not wearing a bra, because let’s be honest here, neither is she! And she’s rocking the same dark circles under her eyes as you. Hey, Twinning!!
And your kid, covered in this mornings oatmeal still? No problem, hers have chocolate cookie crumbs stuck to their face and marker from head to toe.
2. She’s going through the exact same thing as you or has already been there done that
I’ve lost count with how many times I have text these women and said/asked something I thought was completely insane only to have them return with ” YEP, completely normal! ” To any mother out there that is music to the ears. ( Parenting doesn’t come with a manual – although it should because it’s the hardest job you’ll ever have and you go into it completely blind )
I still remember when we brought Toddler G home from the hospital, I just looked at Coffee Infused Dad and said ” I can’t believe they just let you leave the hospital like this, with NO idea what you’re doing. ”
Think of your HOT MESS MOM friend as your Candid Parenting Manual – your GO TO gal when you’re stuck and sitting there saying ” WTF – is this normal??? ”
She will tell it like it is because she’s been there and yes, 9/10 times whatever is going on with you or your kids, she’s been there and got a participation ribbon to boot. So take her advice and try not to go crazy while your insane teething toddler insists on biting anyone and everything in his/her path.
3. She won’t get mad when life gets busy
This one is key because no matter what happens, or how often you guys message/call, she will always be there for you with open arms. It just might take a little time for her to respond.
She gets that life is busy and sometimes ( well actually all the time ) that your family comes first. And for her, her family comes first.
That doesn’t mean she won’t get back to you when she can though. But it does mean that when you do get a chance to talk or have a play date it’s 10x more raw and real because she needs to decompress just as much as you do.
She would never hold it against you either because you guys are mamas FIRST and you both understand that.
4. She won’t sugar coat parenting
There’s one thing I learned when I became a mom and it’s that NO ONE talks about the nitty gritty.
Why do we as moms feel the need to sugar coat parenting?
This shit is hard!! I have never ever been so emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually exhausted over anything in my entire life. ( And most days I feel this way before 9am! )
It starts with pregnancy and how NO one tells you exactly how shitty it really is ( if you’re one of those moms who escaped untouched move along sister move along ) and it just snowballs into fake smiles and mocked up social media profiles.
I’ll admit I was that mom during pregnancy though. Anytime I was asked ” how’s your pregnancy going or how are you feeling ” a simple ” I don’t have much of an appeite came out, or I feel good ” only the women in my tribe knew exactly how shitty I had it – with both pregnancies. ( Please remind me of this when I say I want another!! )
Now that I’m knee deep in toddler shit I made a vow to stop sugar coating everything, for my sake and for everyone elses. I learned how and why to do this from my HOT MESS MOM friends. They need honesty in parenting just as much as I do.
If we’re not honest with each other about the shitty parts of parenting, how does anyone get through the rough days??? We’re so quick to brag about the good days, or snap and post those pictures of the fun times. But the truth is it’s usually a task just to make it to lunch without freakouts, yelling, tantrums and tears.
You’re not alone mama!!! We’re all going through it, some just hide it better than others.
You need a HOT MESS MOM to tell it like it is, to validate whatever emotion you’re feeling or situation you’re going through.
Your HOT MESS MOM BFF will see you at your worst in parenting but she also gets to see you at your best. She will ALWAYS remind you about what an amazing, incredible, and patient mother you are!! And that is exactly what you will need on the tough days when you feel like you can’t get a grasp on motherhood.
There you have it mama. Those are my…
4 TOP reasons why you need a HOT MESS MOM as a BFF !!
** This post is dedicated to Ashley and Britt without you two in my life I’d be one lousy unhappy mama. xox